Fried Chickemn

[kiramori]

I got drunk again.

So... I'm living some of the weirdest days of my life rn. I'm balsically laid off my job, my employer said he don't want to see my face this week so I'm not making any money till I get back. Idk if I'm the problem or if it's the fact that the place is almost shutting down from crippling debt.

I'm searching for new jobs but I can't find one, guess I'll be unemployed forever. Anyways.

I've been struggling a bit lately regarding my psychiatric appointments. My psychiatrist just left me be so I had to restart my whole treatment, so I decided on my own I'd stop taking my meds. While I do not recommend anyone to do that, I still think it was right for me and the situation I was in. I was at the end of my treatment and getting off my meds, so by stopping I'm either no longer mentally ill or I've developed a new harmful strain of mental illness that I'll carry for the rest of my life.

That being said, I'm not an alcoholic (I can stop whenever I want ok?) I just made the habit of drinking at sundays... Today is not a sunday, but it's a holiday so it's basically sunday.

I'm eating fried chicken and I hate feeling my fingers greasy. Nasty. I'm not greasing my whole keyboard so I was sure to finish eating first before writing.

I have to stop defaulting to my self destructive behaviour every time things go wrong. It's beyond my control but I have to try a little harder. That said, I'm doing my best to finish my thesis and it's going great so far. That's my last year at college so I gotta do things right for once. I'm also working on a game that I hope I can finish this year.

Sorry for the messy post and messy life, I'm not pathetic off of the internet I swear. I just hope I can get back to writing soon because I've been so fucking busy with college stuff lately it's not even funny.