kiramori | Entries tagged with comprehensive flow of conciousness

My heart is beating out of my chest, what do you mean you can't go with me? I gaze in awe, dazed. These eyes struck me in my soul, the slipstream carrying it to a higher plane of existence. I hear the unfathomable bells ring aloud and feel the alienating blinding dazzle, searing those letters you wrote etternaly inside.

I just can't take these feelings anymore, it's so overwhealming. My love, i just wish for you to flourish into a perfect bloom, but still, you are but a budding disaster. If only there was a way to genetically engineer your id and sistematically touch up your ego, i could've made you perfect. Added the misconception this would've actually made you better, not just destroyed everything that makes you interesting in the first place.

I miss things how they were before. You, indeed, are so unique, Darling. A celestial being made of the mundane, a spectral arrangement, a discordant choir, so improbable and flawed, wonderfully flawed.

I don't deserve this, I did everything I could. I slept on the way back, I promisse to hold you for dear life. Drama dampens the horrid illusions of the mind, for they are ephemeral, simple things. Deep are the dredges housing your sweet dreams, i promisse we will find them, okay?

And everytime I hear those songs it just hits me all over again. I am unable to provide whatever cost it may have, fire unleashed is not enough, but i shall not contempt, for i have flesh and bones. My blood will be the silver lining that ties our loose ends together.

This ethereal feeling, it's hard to explain. If summer could last for eternity, i would have it figured it out already — but to what end, you say? I just feel i would be the happiest if i ever found it out. Hope i had iron hardened beliefs could suffice for an enlightened mind, but it ultimately hinges on one's willingness to indulge in meddlings it abhors, for knowing is just that.

So when i look up, the moon, the stars. Neither remind me of you.
I love you, so much. I should say i always will.
Long gone are the times these feeling bothered me.

Looking up, i just have this ethereal feeling, the same one i had before, the one that's hard to explain. In it, i dream.

At a beach, not a worry in the world.
The nostalgia of what could have been.

Each step I took amongst the curly-leafed forest reminded me of a time in long gone past where I would remove my pillow's stuffing in the middle of the night to make me a head-shaped hole. Good times.

The blue leaves brushed me with great abrasion as she told me she couldn't see, i wanted to hold her hand and show her the way but i kept quiet and laughed, i brushed off the brushing leaves and kept her in the dark. It felt good.

Each step I took reminded me the plants were a gift like no other, just like many others I gave in the past, and she lost herself in it, she asked me for it, it felt wrong. I wish I could say I was satisfied, but I was not. Still, I think she liked it; I hope she does.

It is hard to deal with simple minds that lack concept abstraction, I feel bad for them and wondered if I could feed them a part of my brain to make them see the world the way I did, but I could not find a tasty enough flavor of guache.

Sometimes I bake cakes to keep me awake and to remind people that I exist and can provide and can also be a little bit talented in a universal way even a worm could appreciate. No, I do not wish for my receipt, in fact, I regret being here, I want to go home.

Don't shine lights at my face, I am not a reflective surface, I'm a pitch dark abyss. Please respect my new celestial form. I also sparkle from time to time, but don't ask me for it, okay? Just pay attention and it will happen sometime, rude.

I speak 14 different languages, though 9 of them are dead and the other 5 I don't really understand.

Sometimes I think about being reincarnated as an animal and devise tier lists and meta reports to aid me in future decisions regarding this topic, but ultimately I would prefer to not be a carbon-based lifeform. I would happily chop your limbs off if you want me to, but please don't ask me to make scary faces, I don't like them.

Last time I cried, I thought about playing in the sun, but the sun burnt a hole through my skull, and now I can hear screaming coming from inside.

Humans should evolve failsafe ways to preserve emotion after death but i think it would be hindered by the bugs crawling beneath my skin and the constant taste of dirt. I imagine being cremated is the only way your body can experience hell so your soul wouldn't feel alone.

I still have all the blue she gave me some years ago, it is happily placed on my wall and I look at it from time to time, her favorite color was blue and mine yellow so she made the decision to give what she likes because this is how gifts work. Now i see myself doing it from time to time and it feels great actually.

There is no bad feeling when I'm painting, just the constant fearmongering that I am not doing enough to justify my ephemeral existence.

When I read what you wrote, I felt we have a lot in common. I sure hope we can meet someday.