Matters of Love
Jan. 26th, 2025 01:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kiramoriToday her photos appeared on my phone, i tought i had deleted them for long, guess i had some sort of cloud backup i didn't know about.
I don't really miss her, i don't even think i'd want her to love me again, it's just that, these things make me think that sometime ago, in a not so very distant past, i felt something entirely different.
[...]
I don't think of myself as an unlovable unloving uncaring person, quite the contrary, actually, i just don't let my feelings get ahold of me.
There was a day i was heartbroken, trying to help all the pain someone brought to me, but it is long gone.
It would be a disrespect to my grief to revive these feelings again.
I kinda wish we could talk about these feelings more often, i would love to resignify what someone means to me in a heartfelt friendly chatter under a cloudy afternoon red sky on some breezy place i like, but life isn't really like that most of the time.
I just can't hold hard feelings and when someone is outside my life so long, they start to lose meaning.
[...]
Anyway, i've deleted the photos again.
Was kinda hoping more would show up, but i know it was just a curious tought and not a longing for a time that isn't anymore.
There is no wrong choices in matters of love, as long you respect the person you are with, or in this case, was.
Hope to see her again sometime, i cherish my friends very much and would love to catch up.
Maybe we'll stumble somewhere someday, that would be nice.
I still got a lot of stuff to work on so, for now, i'll just rest.
I don't really miss her, i don't even think i'd want her to love me again, it's just that, these things make me think that sometime ago, in a not so very distant past, i felt something entirely different.
[...]
I don't think of myself as an unlovable unloving uncaring person, quite the contrary, actually, i just don't let my feelings get ahold of me.
There was a day i was heartbroken, trying to help all the pain someone brought to me, but it is long gone.
It would be a disrespect to my grief to revive these feelings again.
I kinda wish we could talk about these feelings more often, i would love to resignify what someone means to me in a heartfelt friendly chatter under a cloudy afternoon red sky on some breezy place i like, but life isn't really like that most of the time.
I just can't hold hard feelings and when someone is outside my life so long, they start to lose meaning.
[...]
Anyway, i've deleted the photos again.
Was kinda hoping more would show up, but i know it was just a curious tought and not a longing for a time that isn't anymore.
There is no wrong choices in matters of love, as long you respect the person you are with, or in this case, was.
Hope to see her again sometime, i cherish my friends very much and would love to catch up.
Maybe we'll stumble somewhere someday, that would be nice.
I still got a lot of stuff to work on so, for now, i'll just rest.
